4 My Peeps

Once again here we are to break things down, I hope you enjoy:
(I  think I need an intro image for this series)

Things Black People and Southern White People Like

The Hook-up

(damn this dude is dark..dark, like…Nikia dark,
I mean this guy is literally purple!)

Folks can’t live without their hook-up! “The Hook-up” not to get
confused with hooking-up (means something different) mean to
get a deal on something, not paying full price. Now some of you
may say, “Isn’t that what White people would just call a sale?”
The answer is no, a sale is usually a certain percent off of the
retail cost of the item & can be returned to the store for exchange.
The hook-up will usually be done with cash only with a complete
stranger and you may never see that person again except possibly
on an episode of cops or in a police line-up. The hook-up is mostly
for those who were at the right place at the right time or knew
the right people.
Things White People Like

Microbreweries

White people don’t like stuff that’s easy to acquire.
Beer is no exception. They generally try to avoid beers
like Budweiser, Labatt’s, Molson, Coors, and Heineken
because if it’s mass produced it is bad.  No exceptions.

So when they need a beer, they turn to microbrews who
seem to be located almost exclusively in Brooklyn,
New England, Ontario, Quebec and Colorado.
Being able to walk into a bar and order a beer that no one
has heard of makes white people feel good about
their alcohol drinking palate.

Also of note: most white people want to open a
microbrewery at some point.  One that uses organic hops.

Things Black People and Southern White People Like

Hennessy
a.k.a. Hen-Dog,
a.k.a. Yak,
a.k.a. Henny,
a.k.a. Brown Juice

One of the most popular cognacs. White people will traditionally
drink it slowly sipped from a warmed snifter glass, but Black people
will mix it with anything from coke to apple juice.
This is one of the most widely popular alcoholic
beverages that is at every black party, get together, family reunion or bbq.
While it is a very strong spirit, it is popular with the women just as much.
It isn’t cheap, so in most cases it is a BYOB expression when
showing up at a gathering.

Out of curiosity I looked up the definition in urbandictionary and found this:

[A hard liquor that black people from the ghetto drink
to solve all their problems. Sometimes poured out to
honor another’s death]

Things White People Like

Sweaters/Shorts

The sweater is an essential part of the white person wardrobe.
The most popular example of this is the cardigan sweater,
which is essentially a wool jacket with less buttons.
A young white person will combine it with a t-shirt to create a ‘layered look.’
This is a chance to show people that they own not one but two cool items of clothing.
White people also appreciate the irony of ugly sweaters
that usually feature things like reindeer and snowmen.
Though it seems unlikely, white people have even
been able to turn this into a theme for parties.

Regardless of the type of sweater, it is also good to be
aware of the fact that finding a nice sweater at a thrift shop, goodwill
or a Steve & Barrys is considered a major event in the
life of a white person.  Scoring a garment that makes it into the
regular rotation for under $10 is a story that white people
will tell for up to five years after it happens.

Now for Shorts

I found this on yahoo.answers:

It is a known fact that white people believe that they can
bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is
above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they
will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop,
at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.

When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best
to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.”
They will likely give you a high five.

Dude its obviously fall you have on a sweater so we know its cold…
what’s with the damn sandals & shorts???

Since I had a double comment on the last issue I will balance it out
with one more…

Things Black People and Southern White People Like

Sneakers
a.k.a. Kicks,
a.k.a. Sneaks,
a.k.a. Dogs,
a.k.a. Socks,
a.k.a. 1’s

The most popular brands are Jordans, and Air Force Ones.
Being that I can’t ever recall owning a pair of either I’m not sure
what the fascination is with them. But its important enough
for folks to get shot over if you ever step on a Black person’s
fresh new $250 pair of kicks. I can’t believe you don’t have the
new Obama 1’s??? WTF Dude!

In the Black Community millions have been spent on kicks.
It doesn’t stop with Obama, they also have
Louis Vuitton & Gucci 1’s.
There’s even a store in Harlem dedicated to just 1’s starting at $200.

If you want to show your Black friends some much respect then give
props  to his kicks. The following phrase will usually get you in:
“Damn kid you Stuntin’, you must have spent some guap on those kicks”
Please don’t ad lib, just repeat the phrase as is!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 08:12 and is filed under PeopleHumor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.