UnBe-Weavable Hood News (Pics & Vids of the Week)

Sunday, February 22, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Some stories you will make cry, some will make you laugh…
This story will make you want to go and get your hair done or maybe not done!

I need answers folks, how does a weave stop a bullet:

• Did she buy her weave from Planet Krypton’s Hair Emporium?
• Was her weave made from Superman’s back shavings?
• How many decades has that weave been in her head?
• Was her weave put in using Spider Silk?
• Can we now technically call that Nappy Shit “Dreadlocks”?
• If it can stop a bullet can we assume it will also stop a knife?
• Should the US Government start making our troops uniforms out of her weave?
• We know it can stop a 9mm slug, What about a 50 cal?
• Will her hair receive the key to the city or a commendation for saving her life?
• What’s dirtier her weave or Charlie Brown’s friend Pig-Pen?
• Why the hell is she still driving around in a car with a shot out back window

The C Breezy and Ri Ri fight has inspired a new video game:

This woman’s parents must be sooooo damn proud!!!
Although my heart goes out to her embarrassed ass parents…
If I can bring a little joy into her life by giving her something she
loves sooo much (in the back seat of my Jeep of course),
who am I to deny her that joy!  Damn I love Atlanta.
(Hey girl… He loves you right back!)

First this woman’s face looks like something straight from
an episode of The X Files! Secondly, Is this really Tito Jackson?
WTF is up with this old ass guy, Hang it the fuck up dude!
Plus in case no one told you…I will…Dude you’re gay!

Someone please tell her to either use that lip gloss in her hand or put it away!
Dude if you’re going to be an O.G. (Original Gangster) or a Pimp
you need to have style and a hot ass young ass woman on your arm
As in Ice-T & Coco:
(I’d gladly sign my soul over to Satan and burn in hell for some Coco!)
(Matter of fact I’d burn in hell for double eternity to have Coco)
(please Lord let me hit lotto ’cause the first thing I’d buy is Coco)

And what’s with Lil’ Kim…Fellas:
Remember when her first CD dropped & every dude
that took one look at this album cover wanted to wife Kim
(all the ladies were hatin’ on her)

I don’t really know when the change happened but where did
that cute little “down for whateva”, “ride or die”, “Hardcore”
Brooklyn chick go?

The promiscuous, gun in her garter belt, run that chain fool,
but always “I’m a laaaadddy” chick we all fell in love with!

Someone please tell me what happened, ’cause now I wouldn’t touch
Kim if I was high on weed , hopped up rollin on Xtcy and Cialis

Lil’ Kim now joins Michael, Tito, Janet, Latoya & Jermaine
let’s say she’s an honorary Jackson 5 member.
See the family resemblance!

Please let her be the first to get the boot
from dancing with the stars…Kim: dance lessons aren’t going to help!

Fashion week hit NYC and a flood of stars were around like
the fabulous Alicia Keys and the not so fabulous Kanye West.

Please lets stop buying his music to bring this guys ego back from planet Mork.

Video Alert:

Broke new edition members Ralph and Bobby were
performing at the Nokia theater in NYC when… old ass Bobby’s
back gives out. Maybe he should buy some Boniva.

‘Memba Sis Patterson from the I luv NY reality show?
‘Memba how churchy she was during the show…
Well I guess she’s got a new church called
“All On a White Boy’s Lap” Baptist Church

Raven Simone was spotted heading into a party for Katy Perry looking
like she just may enjoy kissing a girl (we need to get this woman a man fast!)

Folks have been giving Ne-Yo a really hard time because of his
Metro-sexiness. Well I have a tip for Ne-Yo:
If you want to avoid being called gay….
try not getting photo’d in a blond wig and think its cool!

And to wrap things here’s a hot ghetto mess moment…
If this is her back believe me I don’t want to see her front!
She really needs a “back bra” size DD!
DO YOU see those massive stretchmarks…come on girl!
I’ve heard of a six pack…but what she’s got is a half dozen rolls!

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