Sunday, May 31, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Wow. Damn Jamie. Do your thing Boy!!!

I know that was some serious tongue  action going on there.
I almost had to put on a condom to look at these pics.

I want to stab Jamie Foxx with an AK-47 bullet right now!

Hot…Hot…Hot!

Here they are on stage at the the Spike Guy’s awards. Halle Better calm down before she gets another bun in that oven!!
Look at that hand on ass action and look at where her hands are…

Jamie Foxx Can’t even believe that this Shyt is actually happening!!

Look at those delicious ass legs with that black dress and those heels on…
She’s a Fu#king Hotter than Hades!  (Hades means Hell roughly translated)

All I can say is……DAMN….DAMN….DAMN!

Posted in CelebStuff, OMG | 1 Comment »

Saturday, May 30, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

As soon as I spoke about it; it happens.. Kimora is at the hospital and is in labor.

Here’s a pic from the baby shower:

Also in the Baby News is Family Matters little star Jamie Foxworth gave birth to a boy.
Let hope for the baby’s sake she’s will stop the foolishness with the heavy drug use. So she can get back to making more good quality porno movies!!

I tried to get a pic of her in one of her pornos that wasn’t too graphic but it wasn’t possible, she REALLY enjoyed making pornos.

New photos of CBrown and Rihanna

Hey Katie I saw this bag and though of you…

Posted in CelebStuff | 1 Comment »

Saturday, May 30, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

So I got my first speeding ticket in TX …I totally didn’t realize it was the end of the month. Quotas are big down here. The ticket is a whopping $200 bucks.

As I was watching a show with someone they asked me are there really that many cabs in NY?
I responded yes, but then started to think….

If there are so many damn cabs why can’t I ever catch one (besides the fact that I’m Black)?
I had to explain to the person that sometimes it can take 20 minutes to catch a cab in NY. Why is that?

With all of their financial troubles and now selling itself off to Fiat I hop Chrysler keeps on developing this

Its a interactive touchscreen dash for example this guy is using the gps map. Cool huh?

Chuch…..

or church as proper folks or anyone whose not from down south  might say.
The churches I’ve seen down here put NY churches to shame. If you actually go to church in NY the Lawd should strike you down for Frontin’!

I went into a church recently and was impressed (Don’t you get it twisted! Hell no it wasn’t for service, it was for Girl Scouts Ceremony Amira was in).
This small church had a parking lot the size of a Lowe’s parking lot.
This place It had no less than 5 entrances. Then I stepped in and walked through.
The had a nursery, a place for kids to have church, a kids play area (those big hamster tube joints at a that might be at McD’s or Burger King kids area).

Speaking of Hamsters, why are they called hamsters when they contain no ham?

They had a bookstore. They had about 7 LCD screens throughout all the hallways. They had a 2nd floor (I didn’t go up to see it).

They had a Starbucks inside!!!

And this is all before you actually get to the Sanctuary in which had 3 Projector screens:

Now that’s Chuchin’.

We went out to see a Steve Harvey Comedy show over in Dallas.
It rained soooooooooooo bad that day. Actually it rained heavy for 16 hours of that day.

Back to NYC for a minute…

I hope Kimora Lee Simmons has that baby soon cuz she’s got this Djimon dude running all around SoHo in her Bentley shopping for food and snacks all damn day.

Can someone put me on to this Taysha chick who supposedly owns a European cosmetics company? Word is she’s supposed to be worth a cool 500 mil or something. I’ve never heard of her but I’d digging the hell outta her curves.

It seems that she’s wearing the Rena Yip “custom made” shoes with the Alligator Bottoms.
The shoes start at $8,000 and can go as high as $36,000.
The shoe is custom made for your feet ladies and comes complete with a year’s worth of concierge service and a “my shoes are worth your car” attitude.

Nah this ain’t no fashion blog but I saw this and had to put my two cents in:

This is a European concept called the convertible shoe, originally designed to help women while driving.
(Lol, I can see chicks now, looking all over the club cuz they lost a heel!)

Posted in Random | No Comments »

Friday, May 29, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Robin Givens now owes the IRS $292,000 bucks and the IRS is going after her paychecks.
Please don’t take her money IRS she needs it for face & full body lifts…how will she find work without it.
Do you not see her saggy neck and under arm skin!! Please let this woman get her surgery.

I’m sure this means the gold-digger extraordinaire will be out on the prowl.

P.S.  Mike Tyson my heart goes out to you, and I know you’re going through a lot with the loss of your daughter.
Stay strong.
And don’t go anywhere near Mz Givens!

Michael Vick who is home in VA on house arrest seemed to get some comfort from one of his few “thick in the booty” baby mama’s while rocking his ankle bracelet.

What’s even more sad is the paparazzi guy who is perched in a tree for 5 days just to get this photo.
After all that effort of peeping I would think the dude would have gotten some nip or butt ass neked pics of the chick.

Queen Latifah (Can we officially stop calling her Queen?) was spotted at a FIFI event with Paris and Mary J.
I think Paris is laughing at her not with her!

Beyonce is still in London with Jay and her Sis. She took the opportunity to take pics of the paparazzi that are taking pics of her.
(Damn her shoe game is on point..Glitter Platforms)

Spotted at the NBA playoffs last night were Taraj P. with her son

And Kim “the booty” Kardashian and Reggie Bush were there also

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Friday, May 29, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I love writing blog posts when I’m crunked..it’s makes blogging sooo much more fun.
Sure it’s hard to type when the monitor keeps moving but that’s part of the fun.

Lets get to it.

I found the website that is gonna lead me to the woman I’ll marry and spend the rest of my life with.
Check out where I’ve placed the arrows cuz I’m down for a chick from this site:

Yo yall. I’m done. I’m ready to retire my Jersey…(#23 of course since I’m the best that’s ever played the game).
Put my Jersey up, next to Jordan. But these Jesus Freaks are my kinda freaks…

If I get a chick whose down with this site. I’m set.  That’s what I’m talkin bout.
I wish I had a dolla for every time I said to a chick, “I’m tellin you the Lawd is cool with you getting anal”.

Let me find a chick that’s down with Fishnets, Heels, Thongs, G-Strings, BodyStockings, Donkey Punches and getting a Dirty Sanchez.
I swear I’ll never leave that chick!

That’s what’s up…I need a Real Jesus “Freak” in my life.
Holla at Mike if you’re out there..I’ll put it on ya!

Posted in PSA, OMG | No Comments »

Thursday, May 28, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I’m crunked and decided to get some blog posts rolling.

Lets get to it….

Yo I haven’t seen this chick since the movie Waiting to Exhale!

Looks like this chick has been inhaling…lots of food!

Damn just think this is the same chick that played Sunshine in Harlem Nights.
Damn I’m still looking for that chick that if you threw it up in the air it would turn into sunshine!

Why Big Girlz Why?

To my big girlz out there do me a fav….Stop with the big belts under your tits.
It’s not like some magic David Copperfield/Chris Angel trick that makes you look slim nor does it enhance your tit size.
It just makes you look weird as hell! Just put those big ass tits on front street and that ’s all the attention you need, dudes will Holla.
Big Tits for a dude is like an ultraviolet light zapper to a fly. We know it’s  most likely dangerous and shouldn’t head over there but we just can’t help it. We’ll follow that shyt till (that big zap sound) our death.

This is TI’s 3rd day in a likely 2 month jail sentence and the rumors are not true..

TI and Tiny aren’t finally engaged after 3 kids.
The Terrence Howard rumors have been denied by his camp that he’s engaged to the chick pictured.
(Terrence is sooo not hood in this pic)

Taraj P. Henson is looking delicious in a nude photo that will be in a mag this month.

Real of Fake tits? I can’t tell.

Damn I love a chick with a license plate tat.
Her tat seems to go all the way around her waist or she just has massive stitching from a singer and saw magic trick that went horribly wrong.

Recently divorced Kelis was spotted out around town with Nasir Jr in her belly and Blue in her hair.

Rumor has it her and Nas split due to the sex tape to be released of Kelis and a rapper  (be easy.. it happened before she was married)
Chris Brown, Chris Tucker, Bow Wow and Shaq played a little ball at Shaq’s house

At the club Branch in NYC Missy E and Olivia were spotted

We know Akon has a new baby on the way (some lucky fan back in Europe of Africa if I’m not mistaken)
But here’s a pic of T-Pain’s new baby boy Kaydnz Kodah Najm

Jay Z was spotted in London with wifey Bey
(damn bro you’re a millionaire do something with that head will ya)

Is it hard to be married to a chick that has an hourglass figure and wears 4 inch heels all day?
Answer… Nope

Kanye spotted shopping in NYC.
Wow I thought I was the only guy that shoe shops for his ladies?

(for all my lady fans out there you know when Papi is in town your show game needs to be tight right?)
If you ain’t got it ladies let me know, I have 4 accounts with shoe companies and a frederick’s account.
I’m serious about my game. R U ready?

50 cent picture with a new haircut (the baldie) is in a new movie called crossfire

Let  me leave on this one UTube Vid cuz I’m starting to sober up and need more vodka.

I’m thoroughly convinced that Gay men have soft ass bones and extra joints n shyt, cuz several times during this “performance” a mutha Fu#ka’s  leg shoulda been broken ass broke. On the real!

One more and I’m out… I promise.
Hey Kokonut I know you’re off to the islands this week so I wanted to ask you to take it easy with the daggering!!!

WTF is going on in this damn shyt! It’s like someone threw some 5-hour energy drank, ectasy and sugary snacks into the monkey cage at the zoo and just decided to let whatever happens happen. I needed a condom on just to watch this dirty Shyt!

I’m out.. one luv.

Posted in Random | 4 Comments »

Thursday, May 28, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

You know it wouldn’t take long before some Ignant Ass Negroes would make a rap song about the term I put you on to about 5 months ago, Whooty!

Take a look at this Shyt!
Actually does a Black guy need a reason to celebrate Booty? Nope. And if the Black Guy is Southern and the Girl is White…then that Negro ecstatic!

I ain’t even gonna lie the chicks in this video are hot as hell. It got me trippin’.
Real talk: Let BigDaddy roll up on that Sorority…Big Booty Chicks, in 4 inch heels and some little ass panties….Shyt, Oh they gonna have to add a nursery and daycare center on that campus! I’d have to beat it like a cop on each and every one of those chicks (No Viagra needed, ain’t nothin’ wrong with my yang!)

Then comes this “not straight” dude taking vid of this chick’s hair and eyebrows.
My question why in the Hell is she yelling “Celebrity Status” when she’s the furthest thing from it!!!

Mah, I can’t let this Shyt go… WTF…this Bytch has spaghetti noodles on top of her eyes thinking’ she’s cute.

Then this dude whose obviously had lots of Dyck in his life is talking bout, “Oh this is gonna change the game now”! WTF game you talking bout cuz that Shyt ain’t changing the Lakers vs Nuggets or the Cavs vs Magic games.

Lastly why does this chick have like 82 tats? Who is she Dennis Rodman’s sister?

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity | 2 Comments »

Thursday, May 28, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Many women have asked me, “Why is it that every time they are near me, they want to get butt neked and have Porn Star sex with me?”

The answer is not my shoe size, my swagger or the way I dress. It’s actually my cologne.

[UTube Vid so view from home Sophie]

Posted in Random | No Comments »

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Ya’ll know my baby is a chip off this ol’ pimp’s block… so you know her grades are hot.

(click on picture for full size)

You can leave comments for her at her website

Posted in Amira | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Around the age of 8 I took a pen and a piece of paper and then wrote the realest thing I ever wrote.

Some folks say I don’t get enough church, enough religion. So in an attempt to get more religion I decided start a clothing line that will help me achieve that goal.
Yes that’s right, Thongs & G-Strings with scriptures and pictures of bible stories. So the more panties I take off women…the more pleased the Lawd will be that I’m studying the bible. I’m sure the Lawd will bless a brother for making a big effort to do more bible studies in which I promise to do religiously.

Folks we need to give tons of money into more research into finding a cure for Alcoholism.
This guy has the right idea:

Speaking of drinking be careful and don’t drive while you got your crunk on.

Also from my new clothing line these T-Shirts are available

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Barack recently attended his daughter’s soccer game and this photo was taken.
This chick is soooo happy to meet Obama that she may have tinkled a little.

Posted in Random | No Comments »

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Let’s see those brand new prom pics.

Let this Shyt just begin, no intro needed.

OMFG a Barbie shirt, seriously!!!
Dude, Fu#k….
I can’t even comment on that Shyt! But let me try my best anyway.
Your date’s rainbow brite dress isn’t much better than your shirt.
Aight, she’s got a lil’ rack and maybe she can make her booty clap and make your toes curl.
But seriously no amount of Ass is worth your dignity.
Mutha Fu#kers are gonna be clownin’ your dumb ass till the day you die on this Shyt!

Next…

Oh Shyt! How big is the tits on this chick!
This chick looks like Aretha Franklin.
This Mutha Fu#ker must have gotten left back at least 10 times like Krystle because this chick here….her ass has gotta be 34!
I bet on her yearbook quote she wrote, “30 is the new 20″.
Stop them from injecting Shyt into meat folks cuz these kids are growing like the Hulk!

Next…

Nah…man…Nah! That Shyt ain’t cute, She got rolls poppin’ out her back.
Either she’s part cow or she’s hiding Mini Me from Austin Powers in the back of that dress.

Next…

I must be getting old cuz this isn’t even close to being funny, is this how Black kids in the south go to prom these days?
Ok, then mark your calendars, when Amira hits 18 and tries to go to her prom in something even close to that, I’m pleading temporary insanity to the murder charges. I’m going to do a bid in Rikers for hurting that girl. Did this girl’s Mama see her hair when she left the house? Did her Grandmama see that, A neighbor? Somebody should have stopped her ass.

Next…

Oh Shyt, WTF… is that a Buzzard on her chest?
That damn thing on her chest is either:

• A Pterodactyl
• What’s left from that 6 piece and a biscuit from Church’s Chicken
• Her strange and very odd chest hair

Next…

Apparently this chick shops at Neked R Us.
The only advice I could give this chick for her career future is this, “There is no sex in the V.I.P. room”.
But most likely she’ll hook up and marry someone with money that can keep her looking tight because weaves and scandalous attire isn’t cheap.

Since we seem to be on fashion disasters, here’s Queen Latifah at the American Idol Finale and Keri Washington in Cannes.

What is on her mind with this dress? Is that Ostrich feathers? What’s with ladies and Buzzard feathers in dresses? Are Buzzard feathers like the new Pink these days?

Then she switched to this outfit

Something about that outfit looks off.

Ahhh…. gotta be the shoes

I came across this video of this NYC wanna be rapper dude getting punched in grill by his “Bust-it-Baby” while he was talking sideways at her in a rap battle on the street.
Damn, did you see that slo-mo replay of the punch…I know his jaw was on swole.

Definition for Adam:
Bust-it-baby - a girl who can make you “bust” or orgasm. A girl who is not only good in bed sexually, but one who is in the mood for sex the majority of the time.

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity | 1 Comment »

Monday, May 25, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Or else they would have added to the constitution amendment that prohibits State Officials that are Drunk or “High like a Mutha Fu#ker” to name streets, cities, parks or towns.

Look at this Shyt right here:

North Carolina

Kentucky

What else do expect from Michigan (by the way Heaven Michigan is up north of here…seriously )

Mississippi, how Fu#king bored do you have to be to name your town this:

Pennsylvania

Florida (Sophie I see you)

Texas had quite a few gun related named towns like Gunsmoke or Gun Barrel and this

One more from Michigan: exit 69? really!

If I could live anywhere I’ll admin it my top choices  would be NYC (spring/summertime only) Miami (Cuban Mami’s are Rock Stars), Las Vegas (Lawd forgive me of my sins even the really Porn Star sinning that happened with those twin hotties last visit). but on an international level I’d probably end up here in Fu#king, Austria. No seriously that’s the name of the town, Fu#king! I’mma make it do what it do ya’ll.

Posted in OMG | No Comments »

Sunday, May 24, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Before I start I’d like to say thanks to all of you who take the time to read my blog, it means a lot to me. I’m always surprised by the stats I see, about 95-250 hits per day and now I’ve officially hit a new high of 4,000 hits for the month of May. Being that this blog started out my me just sending the link to about 15 people that’s really big to me and I just want to say Thanks again. You folks keep reading…and I promise to be the same crazy ass dude.

Back to Business…

Even though I’m not in NYC right now I like to keep my eyes on the city I love.

Even though my Katie is my BFF; I have to scoop you on this NYC Subway story:
Kevin Bacon was Blackberry Jacked on the subway Sunday morning. He was at a crowded subway station; his BB was in his hand and a guy pulled a snatch and dash. I can only wonder who Kevin has in his Fave 5??? (perhaps the guy he’s hugging in this picture)

So it seems that the new HOT SPOT in NYC is M2 where Shaquille O’Neal was spotted this weekend.

Also there was Teairra Mari showing D.J. Envy some love.

From NYC to my favorite city in the U.S.
Viva Las Vegas Baby, where Toni Braxton was seen partying it up.
And when I say seen you know I really mean seen (Is that a nipple?)
Yup, by the drool coming out of my mouth I’d say that’s a nipple.
Oh yeah Tyrese, Nelly, and JD was at the club as the guest DJ.

For those who aren’t 16 yet, look at this picture instead

Halle Barry was spotted out rockin her new short hair-do
(I liked her better with long hair, I like her much better in make-up)

Rihanna must have finished recording tracks with Kanye and Jay Z she was spotted heading to JFK for a little R&R.
Here she is stopping by Kanye’s NYC condo for a quick change of clothes. I’m digging the after, I wouldn’t have even said hello to her in the before pic.

Posted in CelebStuff | 1 Comment »

Sunday, May 24, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Every so often I let off a crazy rant called Mike’s Corner.
This enables me to let off a little steam so I don’t start picking people off with an AK-47 from a rooftop.

As a reminder folks: If you want to get an email notice whenever I add a new entry to my blog; please go to my subscribe page and enter your email address.

Now on to my blog entry…

I really can’t take it anymore. Why do people continue to do dumb ass Shyt?
I mean I’d be damned if you catch me at a Tea-bagging party!!

You WILL NOT catch me doing this Shyt in protest of any president nor at any political party event!!!!

I mean seriously folks, I gotta ask this question to my White Peeps…
What possesses ya’ll to do this Shyt???
This is a WTF moment, at all these events you didn’t see many Black folks attending except for your occasional cock-eyed sell-outs (pun was intended).

(Say Hi to Ron Christie everyone)

I mean if they continue with this tea-bagging thing I can only say that the G.O.P. stands for the Grand Overtly-Gay Party.

Please folks no crazy political talk on the comments, This isn’t the Huffington Post. I respect everyone’s right to their beliefs and opinions but I think the US has to be run from the middle not the center left not the center right. Its called compromise.

I love NY and it’s a pretty Liberal kind of town but you don’t see NY’ers running around Tea-bagging…

Ok, My bad as you can see from above; there are a few sections of NY’ers Tea-bagging…but not in the GOP sense of the word.

OK….Ok….ok… enough I get the point Chuck and Larry;  correction there’s a lot of NY’ers Tea-bagging. Geez no more pictures please, my stomach is getting queasy.

Lawd have Mercy Mike…
I have yet another correction: Everyone and Everything in NY is Tea-bagging!

Dammit Mike Lowrey!! I said enough with the pictures..You’re scaring the kids!

For those who are new to the term (if you haven’t already figured out the meaning), let me explain:

Poll Question of the Day:

Even the Prison Economy is tanking!
OUtside of prison Gas looks to be heading to $3 a gallon again and in prison a pack of smokes looks to be heading towards 3 hand jobs.

Hey Adam, I have a new alias…some ladies call me Chai Latte. So add that to the list of aliases that you are tracking (I think Adam works for the Federales). No not the Mexican Federal Police, but these guys.

Sorry Adam but since Tomur left the U.S. (I hope he still reads my blog in between taking belly button shots of scotch from Singapore prostitutes…Tomur you soooooooooo better send pictures of that!!) you’re the pick on guy now, but you’re still my boy and I gots mad luv for ya bro.

Posted in rant | No Comments »

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Aight since I have nothing else to report today other than losing my Debit Card and having someone running around TX buying up lots of goodies from Walmart, 7-11’s and gas stations. I figure I’d see what celebs were up to. And hey loser.. If you’re out there reading the card has been canceled and your spending spree on unleaded gas is over. All money will be returned to my account in about a week and any fees associated will be refunded. And before you folks ask, I thought the card was misplaced in the house is the only reason it wasn’t canceled right away. But no harm done, just a small inconvenience, lol.

So onto Celebs..

This is Rapper’s T.I.’s last weekend free as he is reporting to prison after pleading guilty for having about 100 guns in his house and trying to buy illegal assault rifles. I didn’t realized that since TI has gone on this blitz of community service his sentence was reduced to just 2 months not a year and a day since he is being credited for 305 days of house arrest. Good going T.I.! Here in the vid you see his main lady Tiny sticking by his side and looking rather good in that white dress. Here’s some secret video taken from his Farewell Party.

Speaking of Prison… NLF’er Michael Vick was released from jail today.

He is en route to his modest 5 bedroom home in Virginia (as opposed to his 3.2 Million dollar Atlanta Mansion that failed to be sold in an auction recently) for 2 months of house arrest. Vick needs money at this point. He’s expected to petition to get back into the NLF this season, I wonder which NY team is desperate enough to take him. Or will it be the Arizona Cardinals?

Jermaine Dupri gave his boo a permanent Birthday gift this week.
One huge tattoo…
I guess Mz Jackson has really been Mz Nasty to make a brother get a huge tat.
(Can I call next on the Janet ride?)

Rihanna is back roaming around NYC, recording some new tracks at a studio in Chelsea.
She’s finally smiling again after the neked pics of her hit the Internet.
Here she is having fun after shopping (making my mouth water looking delicious in those pumps).

Keyshia Cole may not be single much longer…
After Rapper Young Jeezy has kicked her to the curb, she’s been vulnerable to the younger ballers  with paper much longer than Jeezy.
Oh when I say Young Ballers..I mean Ballers as in 23 year old NBA star from the Cleveland Cavs .
They have been spotted all over town and he even brought her flowers on their date.

Serena Williams recently had a photo shoot for a website.
Now I think she looks like a guy named George most of the time but this pic had me thinking….Now I know why Rapper Common was tappin’ that ass. I know it was photoshopped a bit but still this pic is a silver dolla.

Michelle Obama has been showing a lot of leg lately in her recent appearances, I guess that means spring is officially here.

Speaking of legs…have you seen Ashanti this past week.
Rapper Nelly gotta be happy with her from the looks of this pic

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Hands down I’m one of the best whose ever did it, but don’t get it twisted this lady will supersede my greatness!
Every day we hop up out of our beds, turn our swag on, take a look in the mirror and say that’s what’s up.
Best believe…I treat this lady well, just ask my baby girl.
Whatever she wants.
She gets it cuz I got it,
I got it so she gets it.

[4 months]

Tell me what do you see, when you look at me?
Because I see her when I look in the mirror.

In one word this girl is immaculate.
He sent me an angel ya’ll.

[2 years]

She’s a miracle to me.
She’s destined for greatness; I’ll see to it that she’s set 4 life.

[8 years]

[click on any pic for a full size view]

Posted in Amira | 4 Comments »

Monday, May 18, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Once again…an Earthquake has hit my area.

No Dumb Ass…. This ain’t Def Comedy Jam…I mean a real Mutha Fu#kin’ Earthquake!!!

A Quake Hit the Dallas area at 11:20am Saturday Morning.
Here’s a picture of what my house now looks like

Nah just kidding, everything is cool, it was a 3.3 Magnitude.
I don’t even flinch unless is a 4.2
Now if its a 5.1… I Shyt my pants

On a 6.0… My pants are already Shat in once it passes 5.1 so by the time it hits 6.0 I’m takin a Shyt in the nearest person to me pants.

On a 7.0… I’m just in the middle of the street Shyt’in.. no clothes on at all. Just Shyt’in like a poodle that ate bad kibble.

8.0 and above…I’m tryna give the nearest chick to me the business one last time before I go outta here. And yes…I have a crazy load of Shyt all over my ass while I’m getting at the chick. No time to wipe, I’m about that nut at that point, I got 5 minutes to live…to hell with cleanliness. 

If you would like to donate to the BigDaddy Earthquake relief fund please send checks to my P.O. Box.
There are hundreds of strippers across the DFW area that are struggling due to this quake (and the fact that Craigslist no longer has Erotic services).
When the quake happened a few of them fell off of their poles, or lost their rhythm while giving guys lap dances. So please help me, help them!

By the way the earthquake may have scared off my Chicken Shyt Somali Pirates that I hired to guard my house…so I had to re-hire the squirrels. Don’t you stop by the crib unannounced, that’ll be your Ass…hear me! He’s got a Medal of Honor from the Army!

Posted in OMG, AtHome, Random | No Comments »

Monday, May 18, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

If you were lucky (or important) this weekend you made your way to the Z100 concert in NJ.

Taking the stage was one of my fav’s right now (her swagger matches mine)

CiCi (How flexible is this damn woman??? Now I really want to get at her , lol)

I guess Sean Paul’s Hairline is like his career…just gone.

At what point do we stop giving “Ignant” Ass Negroes Money!!!

Do you see what L.L. Cool J started!!
Now every rapper gotta get up and pour a bottle water of water on themselves tryna look sexy.
Ohhh Lawd Flo Rida give me a break.

I suppose its the way hardcore rappers keep in touch with there inner gay.
I think when rappers do the water bottle thing they really wish they were doing this (Oh What A Feeling!!)

I can see LL or Flo Rida killin a pair of leg warmers

Speaking of people who are hiding their inner gay…
Here’s Ne-Yo And who the Hell is “Tennille Jimenez” anyway??
Someone help me on this one. (photogs snapped them at Cannes F.F.)

It amazes me how even with a hot chick this guy still looks about as pink as a pair of Victoria Secret Panties.

Also spotted there in South France was Nariah (Nick and Mariah…. more like Mariah & that black young boy she’s dating)
Here they are stepping onto a yacht, I’m not hating on dude, especially since my last post with Mariah without any makeup on but this guy has got to attached to her worse than Al Reynolds was attached to Star Jones. Worse than that gay dude was attached to Stella when she got her groove back.  You know this guy is having a much better life with Mariah’s money than he was with his own lol.

From France lets spin down to LA to our favorite party girl Meagan G.
Here she is about 2 hours apart with different shoes on (Damn she must have mad pairs of shoes in her bag for quick changes when she goes out…I ain’t mad at that)
WTF is that not really straight dude behind her doing? Pretending he has heels on or something.

Also in L.A. was Ray J. (looks like his picked up one of Whitney’s bad habits.. looking a little crack-ish Bro-man).

I went spanning for what else was happening this past week in L.A. and came across Hazel-E’s party and that Fine Ass Meagan Good & her Fine Ass Sis LaMyia were in attendance.
(O.M.F.G. she is not re-wearing shoes for this party, that’s soooo tacky in Hollywood!!)
Guuuurrrllll, you know you supposed to wear those shoes once then put them away deep in the back of the closet forever.

Sis

Lastly here’s Jhud from the today show.
It never fails…a chick get a man and then starts dressing like a Hobo.
Seriously I could care less if you got a tight weave and lip gloss on…WTF are you wearing!!
I swear she looks just like Homie the Clown!

NO words… forget all the Shyt I said about wanting to hit that up. I changed my mind!

Last one I promise…

I just had to comment on Jamie Foxx’s TIGHT ASS jacket as he was caught coming out of Mr. Chow’s in L.A.
Either this Mutha Fu#ker was hiding food in his jacket or he’s started eating like a fool for his Mike Tyson movie role. This Mutha Fu#king Jacket is so damn tight I can see what he ate for dinner.

Posted in CelebStuff | 3 Comments »

Saturday, May 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Here’s what they video game folks are planning…a new DJ Hero game and controller

Well…Well…Well

Another Marraige bites the dust. Last Month it was announced that Swizz Beatz and his wife of 4 years Mashonda were a wrap

I wonder what swizz is up to without wifey these days…

Oh Ok, I guess Swizz and A. Keys chillin in Miami is a coincidence, lol yeah ok.

Now onto Maxim’s Hot 100 Party, the celebs showed up and out for this one.

Gabrielle Union Looking Good (I still think her BFF Sanaa is hotter but I would give them both the business, preferably at the same.. you know how I do! )

But In a shocker the unthinkable happened at the party!!!!
Jamie Gunns arrived wearing the same exact dress.

How Tacky

Then Gabby was seen with Dana Rodriguez (Dana is killin those blue Manolo B’s)

Also spotted there was Cici, WTF is up with her and those R Kelly Braids??

Elise Neal showed up, we’re not sure why?

Lastly Lala, Basketball star Carmelo Anthony’s wife was there
(from RedHook, Brooklyn and folks from RedHook please stop lying, all ya’ll didn’t know Melo, he left RH when he was 8 for Baltimore so I doubt the entire projects knew him)

But anyway my question is Why does she always look like a Hot Mess??

Lala was also spotted in L.A. with Kim Kardashian and BFF Ciara

Damn, Kim K. has a mean shoe game!

What’s the nastiest 3some you can ever think of…
You got it right! Kanye, Alexis, and Madonn.
Alexis’ Ass is so phat Madanna couldn’t help herself.

Paparazzi snapped up Beyonce getting off of a fligh to LAX.
Damn that’s what’s up, rockin the 5 inch heels on a flight

To end off Chrisette Michele celebrated her album release at NYC’s M2 Ultra Lounge and also recieved an award at SESAC in NY this week.

Posted in CelebStuff, tech | 1 Comment »