What’s shakin’? The whole damn city!

Once again…an Earthquake has hit my area.

No Dumb Ass…. This ain’t Def Comedy Jam…I mean a real Mutha Fu#kin’ Earthquake!!!

A Quake Hit the Dallas area at 11:20am Saturday Morning.
Here’s a picture of what my house now looks like

Nah just kidding, everything is cool, it was a 3.3 Magnitude.
I don’t even flinch unless is a 4.2
Now if its a 5.1… I Shyt my pants

On a 6.0… My pants are already Shat in once it passes 5.1 so by the time it hits 6.0 I’m takin a Shyt in the nearest person to me pants.

On a 7.0… I’m just in the middle of the street Shyt’in.. no clothes on at all. Just Shyt’in like a poodle that ate bad kibble.

8.0 and above…I’m tryna give the nearest chick to me the business one last time before I go outta here. And yes…I have a crazy load of Shyt all over my ass while I’m getting at the chick. No time to wipe, I’m about that nut at that point, I got 5 minutes to live…to hell with cleanliness. 

If you would like to donate to the BigDaddy Earthquake relief fund please send checks to my P.O. Box.
There are hundreds of strippers across the DFW area that are struggling due to this quake (and the fact that Craigslist no longer has Erotic services).
When the quake happened a few of them fell off of their poles, or lost their rhythm while giving guys lap dances. So please help me, help them!

By the way the earthquake may have scared off my Chicken Shyt Somali Pirates that I hired to guard my house…so I had to re-hire the squirrels. Don’t you stop by the crib unannounced, that’ll be your Ass…hear me! He’s got a Medal of Honor from the Army!

This entry was posted on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 13:41 and is filed under OMG, AtHome, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.