Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

We’ve discussed this Shyt before but ya’ll just don’t Fuggin give a damn do you?

Let’s just get into this…no intro needed.

And………………………………………………..Go

I guess ugly as hell is the theme for this party.

I’m not even gonna act brand new.
And fellas don’t front; you would all do the same thing I’m about to say!

If I was in a club with my peeps (and you know how I be…all tipsy as hell and shyt) and this chick passed by.
I would kick it to her..You know I would have to walk up to her all GC and sauve and the first thing out of my mouth to her would be “Damn look at them Tiddys!!! I’d be rockin them thangs like crazy.
I’m talkin bout suckin on those twinz like some neckbones that was sitting in Collard Greens.

On the real…. You know it would probably take me about 15 minutes of kicking it to her before I even looked up at her face.
But when I did I’d probably bust out my Rambo knife and try to defend myself  again this Fuggin Sasquatch.

Fellas don’t act like I’m the only one who Fugged a chick cuz she had crazy T&A and a busted face.
And Ladies don’t act like you ain’t neva Fugged an ugly grizzly ass dude because you heard or though he was packin a crazy ass Willy Wonka.

My condolences for those women who stayed with and are still with that grizzly ass ugly dude [with all your girlfriends be making fun of you] just for some good Willy Wonka.

I know Kokonut is gonna be all over me for this but you do realize that this is a West Indian Club right? (I’m not saying they are Jamaican. I’m just saying there are some Jamaican folks up in this Shyt. And you know there’s some Haitians and Trinidadians in the mix).

This party had to be Fuggin Stankin.
I can promise you that this place smelled like Guinness Stout, fried bologna, old mayonnaise, fried cod fish, wet dog, the planet Uranus, someone’s anus and an upper lip after a Dirty Sanchez.

I mean this club probably smelled like a sandwich that you lost 3 months ago and then found it yesterday on the back shelf in the fridge.

I mean this party had to smell like highly enriched weapons grade uranium.
I mean this party had to smell like that guy in the empty subway car.

Lastly…

There sooooo much wrong with this picture my brain is freezing.

OMG…she needed to leave her GUT at the coat check or something.
Did she just have a baby? Not like last year …I mean like 12 minutes before this pic was taken.

WTF is that on her eyes?

She looks just like that muppet

Posted in rant, PeopleHumor | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

He’s slated to co-star in NCIS: Los Angeles

Harry Potter premiered last night at Lincoln Square and a few stars were spotted:

Ashanti looked hotter than lava.

Vanessa Williams looked damn good too, for a MILF  Cougar.

but her daughter looked less likely to have a stroke during sex better.

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I know my female readers love this guy so I thought I’d give you a heads up on his cover.

Idris Elba is covering the August issue of Essence magazine.

Also

Wendy Williams was surprised yesterday by Manhattan Borough President Scott M. Stringer–
He dedicated July 13 as Wendy Williams Commemorative Day.

Latifah was spotted heading into the studio on appear on the David Letterman Show

Posted in CelebStuff | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

After smoking crack as a mayor I would say…..NOPE.

He didn’t even have enough self respect to get hooked on Cocaine.
He went out with a $5 rocks of crack.

Imagine seeing this paper on your newsstands

(Why do both these idiots look like they are posing for a greencard photo)

Hell at least he kicked you out somewhere where you could catch a flight home.

And before I get all types of hate comments be easy its just jokes.

I’m just saying the woman WAS Marion Barry’s girlfriend.
You gotta be a lil fucked up in the head (no pun intended…nah Fuggit it was intended) to date a crackhead.

Here’s how it probably went down….

They are in his car in Denver driving, Dude pull over on the side of the highway for some quickie type of Shyt.
She starts up with it, rubbin dude’s sacks and all when he starts looking like he’s getting excited.

She jumps up and starts that nonesense (Black women you know ya’ll be doing this…), ” Nah…Uhh. You almost came in my mouth” No more…that’s enough.

Next thing you know dude is all wound up and kicked her out.

I’m not saying it’s right. But you can see how Shyt could have escalated!

But seriously, she was fine and dandy with the relationship and giving dude the goodies when he put her down for a $20,000 job (probably off the books, IRS get on that and get off of my back).
She was all on a dude’s dyck then, but when the money dried up it was a wrap.
She played dude but then got mad when he started to flip on her.

I feel sorry for neither of them.

Read the whole store here with audio calls from Barry that sound like he’s on the same stuff as Keyshia Cole’s mom Frankie.

Speaking of on that stuff…

Whitney’s album is said to still be coming out in Sept. and she ’s been keeping a really low profile.
She hasn’t been spotted picking up crack from her usual dealers in a while maybe this means she’s cleaned up.

She didn’t look too wild at the airport with Bobbi last week…keep up the good work Whitney.

Posted in CelebStuff, Ignant Negro Activity | No Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

No One!!!
Don’t you ever forget that.

I’m hot like a man that’s standing on the Sun…

Posted in Random | 2 Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Office Jesus

Hawk Jones - SuperCop

Don’t Jump Into a shallow Pool face first!!

Michael Jackson returns….Thank you White Jesus!!!

OMG!!!! Music beef has started again…Thank you White Jesus, because Rap was getting tired!!!
The Game takes his first official on the record shots at JayZ!!!

At a performance in Madrid the game says, “I feel like….FUGG JayZ….that old Ass Ni99a!!”.
Then he went after Beyonce by saying, “Ain’t no Pu$$y like hers…just ask the Mavericks, Cowboys, Rockets and the Spurs.
Wow.. He literally said Bey been whoring around with every single TX sports star. Then rapped to the DOA beat. Saying wave JayZ old ass goodbye.

Lots of cussin on this so it may not be safe for work if you don’t have headphones.

I really think I’m going to start bleaching my skin like MJ, cuz I’m really through with Ignant Negroes (which seems in abundance more then Fuggin Evah)
I may need to start a new category called Shyt that makes me want to be White.
And this would top the Fuggin list!
Just please sit back and watch this dumb ass make a Coon out of himself.

This vid clip looks like some BET type of cribs Shyt but my boy Daniel Tosh made a response to this that is HILARIOUS!!!
A MUST SEE!
.

.

Folks are getting all crazy over a pic of Barack in Italy helping a young lady up some stairs.
The pic gives the impression that he was checking this chick out but it’s not true.
He was just helpig her up some steps.

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity, PeopleHumor, Music | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

This is a story about a high school teacher and some home made porn, but reminded me of my school daze.

I went to an all boys High School and I can remember I had this hot little White teacher that I had it real Bad for
[I mean Michael Jackson Bad]

I used to clean her classroom every day just to catch some extra time with her.
She used to wear those cue ass little skirts and teacher glasses.
Lol. She was pretty small too she had to be like 5 foot 4 and 120lbs

I every damn day I;d have the same daydream of putting her on her desk and workin’ that ass.

That was my high school  musical!

But back to the story….

ELK GROVE, Calif. (AP) - A Northern California elementary school teacher sent her students home for the summer with a video of class memories, only the DVD included six seconds of her having sex on a couch.

Officials at the Elk Grove Unified School District asked families of the teacher’s 24 students to get rid of the DVD after the unintended clip was found spliced in a scene where children were sharing stories in class.

“Just destroy them,” said spokeswoman Torrey Johnson.

Johnson said the teacher, whose name isn’t being released, sent the DVD home with her students from Isabelle Jackson Elementary on the last day of class Friday. She learned of the mistake after a parent called her. She then called all the parents to ask them to destroy the DVD.

The school district, located just south of Sacramento, initially sent a letter home to parents asking them to return the DVDs, but then asked parents to simply destroy them.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL!!!

That each and every one of the Dads made a quick copy or ripped it to their hard drives before destroying the original.
Now on parent-teacher day…Dads all show up.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

The word is that Nikia and Krystle are saving up to get the new Mr. PotatoHead Nikes when they drop.
While Muriel is still trying to decide if she’ll get a pair for her and Rae.

Thanks to Thickcrust for sending this in.

Damnit…you may as well plant a sign in the front yard that says Negroes live here.

Thanks to Passion for sending this in.

Posted in Random | 2 Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Jay Phillips is a Black man living in British Columbia Canada.

Jay was minding his business walking down a street when a group of 5 White guys in a pickup truck rolled up on him and started shouting racial slurs.
(do all racists drive a pickup truck? Every time you hear about this Shyt a pickup truck is in the mix)

Well the 5 Fools didn’t realize that Jay had been trained in martial arts.
Although he couldn’t take 3-5 guys on at once (pretty impossible unless you’re Bruce Lee) he got in a good couple of shots before losing his footing and slipping.
Which was the only time these Fuggin cowards got any hits in on my boy!!!

They couldn’t touch him while he was on his feet, even with 4 to 1 odds!!!

Check the Vid and then sound off with the comments.

Next….

More than 60 campers from Northeast Philadelphia were turned away from a private swim club and left to wonder if their race was the reason.

(The audio is a little low from the nbc studio in this video)

Kids at Creative Steps Day Camp were thrilled to go swimming once a week at the Valley Swim Club. But after only one trip to the private club, they were…

“I heard this lady, she was like, ‘Uh, what are all these black kids doing here?’ She’s like, ‘I’m scared they might do something to my child,’” said camper Dymire Baylor.

The Creative Steps Day Camp paid more than $1900 to The Valley Swim Club. The Valley Swim Club is a private club that advertises open membership. But the campers’ first visit to the pool suggested otherwise.

“When the minority children got in the pool all of the Caucasian children immediately exited the pool,” Horace Gibson, parent of a day camp child, wrote in an email. “The pool attendants came and told the black children that they did not allow minorities in the club and needed the children to leave immediately.”

The next day the club told the camp director that the camp’s membership was being suspended and their money would be refunded.

“I said, ‘The parents don’t want the refund. They want a place for their children to swim,’” camp director Aetha Wright said.

Campers remain unsure why they’re no longer welcome.

“They just kicked us out. And we were about to go. Had our swim things and everything,” said camper Simer Burwell.

The explanation they got was either dishearteningly honest or poorly worded.

“There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club,” John Duesler, President of The Valley Swim Club said in a statement.

Posted in Ignant White Activity | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Gary Coleman and his wife Shannon

Maybe it’s me but just looking at this Bytch I can tell she’s a little touched in the head.
She looks like the type of chick that will wake up in the middle of the night and stab a Negro just cuz the voices or White Jesus or the Devil told her too. (and then if it was the Devil she’ll thumb you in your eye)

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I’m not sure if this guy is really the Devil…he doesn’t have horns,
But then again he looks red as hell to me!

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL — A man’s trip to a Cumberland Farms store turned into a chance encounter with a scraggly version of Beelzebub, according to Port St. Lucie cops.

The victim told officers he was leaving the store when he was approached by a man later identified as John Eugene Yale, Jr.

They chatted for a few minutes when Yale suddenly announced, “I am the Devil and I am going to kill you!”

Police said Yale jumped on the victim, hit him on the head and jammed his thumbs in the man’s eyes, causing them to bleed.

The victim fought back and managed to escape to his house, where he called 911.

Yale was arrested and hauled off to his own private hell.

He’s charged with felony battery.

Well…

Let’s see how this Shyt would go down in TX?

WD: (White dude) Hey Boss you saw that Cowboys game yesterday.
Mike L: Nah I was watching the other game that was on TV.
WD: Man you missed a hell of a game.
Mike L: Yeah I’m sure.
WD: I am the Devil and I am going to kill you…
Mike L: Pulls out his Glock .45 [Pop..Pop..] Dude sorry but that Devil Shyt freaked me out sooo… no hard feelings when I see you in 80 years in hell ok?

Posted in Ignant White Activity | 1 Comment »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Rumor is that due to her last album going double copper and her alleged split from her management team ROCNation; she’s been dropped from Epic Records.

She is still currently on Epic’s website so this story is still a rumor until it’s been confirmed by enough of my sources which has not happened as of yet.

Posted in CelebStuff | No Comments »

Friday, July 10, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Tiny, Toya from BET reality show and Sheree from the real housewives of ATL were all spotted having lunch at Twist at Phipps.

Ain’t Sheree broke? Then why the Fugg is she out spending money?
She should be laying in a homeless shelter conserving her energy trying to make it until her once a day mealtime.
Why do her feet look like Gorilla Hands?

Is it just me but  why do I want to stab Tiny (TI’s wife) in the vocal cords with a poison dart every time she speaks!
Her voice is soooo damn annoying, I mean even more than Neicy Nash.
And why do 2 folks go out to eat and then both go and get on the phone and talk to other people the entire time?

Posted in CelebStuff | 1 Comment »