Wednesday, June 17, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Come on…Are you serious OKlahoma State Troopers?
I’m not saying that this Ignant Cop Behavior is racially motivated…I just think the cop was obeying Oklahoma’s state mandate of Racial Profiling!

I think if the EMT driver was White; the cops wouldn’t have had a problem.
Or was the issue that the EMT drove through a White neighborhood so profiling kicked in?

[For those who cant get youtube click here for the abcnews video]

But this does bring up a much bigger issue that is a major problem all across the U.S.

Why do local and state police officers think they own the world?
I mean what kind of Fuggin God complex must you have to stop an EMT ambulance for failing to completely yield at sign when they are trying to get a patient to a hospital!!!

I’ve seen cops hold up 2 lanes on Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn (and NY folks know Atl Ave only has 3 lanes) just so they could have a chat and not get out of their cars. I’ve seen cops park in bus stops to go into Dunkin Donuts. I’ve seen cops run red lights on the way back to the precinct just because they are at the end of their shift and want to get off duty.

Sound Off Folks on the comments.
This Shyt is crazy?

Posted in rant, Southern, OMG | No Comments »

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I know just a handful of Church Folks that are real.
I don’t put them on a pedestal or anything I just really admire their values as a person.
I can only think of about 3 people that I would call up to talk Lawd with (a.k.a. Churchin’), my boy Roderick, my BFF Hallia and her Sis, well that’s the whole list.

I know plenty of Folks who go to Church but and I don’t care how long you’ve been going to church. If you’re not on my list above…well then we can be cool friends (I have a lot of good friends that go to church) but just don’t try to hit me up with a whole lotta Lawd talk, that would be a bad move for you. Especially if I know you’re mostly full of Shyt as far as Church goes.

Most Churches to me are like a bad Ponzi scheme.
Madoff wend to jail for doing the Shyt some Churches do today.

Church Pastors and paid officials have been making a pretty penny at it for a long time.

And in Catholic churches, they just start making all types of Shyt in 24ct. Gold, and wearing blinged out medallions like they were a part of 50 Cents crew.

Here are a couple of Ignant Ass Church Negroes that are trying to make a penny off of the community by instead of offering job training programs, college aid assistance, events to lift the community morally, nope…they decided instead to help out folks this way:

Oh My Lawd Bail Bonds? WTF! And this guys a damn Bishop. I know B’More is having Black Crime issues but seriously… Bail Bonds from Churches…I’m Done.

Posted in rant, Southern, OMG | 1 Comment »

Friday, May 15, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

Hot Grits with a side of “I’mma put a cap in yo ass”!

From now on I don’t go to waffle house unless I’m packin an AK-47.
There’s been so much about this I had to add a new category in on my site “Ignant Negro Activity”

Live from South Carolina:

Clarendon County (WLTX) - A Clarendon County waitress is accused of shooting a customer at the restaurant after the two had a dispute.

Yakeisha Ward, 29, is charged with assault and battery with intent to kill.

An early morning run for breakfast at the Waffle House on Paxville Highway in Manning turned terribly wrong for Crystal Samuel.

“I thought I was gonna get me an All-Star,” says Samuel. A popular meal on the menu. “Grits, sausage, toast, eggs and a waffle,” says Samuel.

She didn’t get what she came for. Instead, she says while she waited for her order, her friends started eating. That’s when Samuel says she was told they couldn’t eat from carryout trays inside the restaurant.

“I said what is your fuss about. I said we haven’t paid for our food. She (Ward) said well you all got to leave. How you want us to leave and we ain’t paid for the food yet,” says Samuel.

That’s when it got ugly. Samuel says she threw a waffle at the waitress. “I did actually throw some food but it didn’t hit her,” says Samuel. “That’s when she (Ward) jumped across the counter and we got into it,” says Samuel.

Clarendon County Sheriff Randy Garrett says the altercation continued outside where he says Ward got a gun from her car and a gun magazine from her trunk.

“It’s poor judgment on her part trying to settle this matter with a weapon. either way she had time to think about what she was doing when she was walking to her car,” says Garrett.

Investigators say Ward’s gun discharged during the altercation. They say a bullet fragment struck Samuel in the arm.

“Deputies were close by when they rolled up in the parking lot the victim and the suspect were still engaged in a fight,” says Garrett.

Before it ended, authorities say Ward struck the victim in the head with the gun.

“She got the last lick,”says Samuel. Meanwhile Ward has bonded out of jail. On Tuesday afternoon, News 19 found her inside the Waffle House where the incident happened.

She declined to talk to us on camera but says she got out of jail after paying $500. As for Samuel, she has only one thing to say about Waffle House. “bad customer service,” says Samuel.

Investigators say it appears that Ward’s gun was legally purchased.

Hilarious quote of the day: “I though I was gonna get me a All-Star”.

But seriously waitress posted a $500 bond got out of jail and was back at work the next day……WTF is that about!!!
I’d be damn if any of my staff will have a fight at work and show up the next day for anything BUT A FINAL PAYCHECK!

This is why I go to the Waffle House in the White Neighborhood.

So ya’ll thought I was slippin huh?? Of course I’m not letting that Bytch first name slide.
With a name like Yakeisha where the hell else did her parents think she would work for the rest of her life but Waffle House?
I’m so glad the intent to kill is so common in South Carolina that you only need to post a $500  bond. I got stopped for doing 95mph in a 65 in North Carolina and had to post $700. I should have tried to bust a cap in a negro and I’m sure would have gotten a lower bond.

Fu#k Waffle House I only eat at King Burger, I’m tryna hook up with “Bon Qui Qui” she’s a lil dime piece!

Posted in Ignant Negro Activity, Southern, OMG | 3 Comments »

Wednesday, March 25, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

First off these are the most amazing videos I’ve seen in a while.
For those folks who can’t get youtube at work, take the afternoon off run home and look at these vids. It’s that serious.

Now let’s get to it…

Thickcrust: “You Got Served!” and you should really be ashamed at this one.
This Bear was serving Thickcrust (literally), then Thickcrust realized that he didn’t have a chance in this dance battle with his calcium deficient knees and ran off. Punk.

Watch this bear “Get Low” with it, amazing!

This Bear puts Thickcrust’s non-rhythm having ass to shame and
not to mention…you can’t jump! Woody Harrelson proved that!
Oh yeah and this guy too

Whatever you do Thickcrust please don’t dance. We are really getting tired of seeing you do dumb ass dances like these when we hit the club

Speaking of dancing it’s time to get at some folks.
First up Black folks:

I’ve blogged about this dumb Dirty South Negro BullShyt
before but its still got me mad.
At first glance I thought they were a group of young ladies
putting together a dance team/crew type of thing.

But now I realize that most likely they are just a group of ATL strippers.
(All my ATL peeps stand up, Ya’ll know ATL got the best strippers on the east coast!!)

I mean is this shyt on their resume when they go in for a job interview?
I’m sooo proud that Michelle Obama has never even thought about doing
some shyt like this. Or if she has, she’s never been filmed doing it!
(As a Harvard Graduate we know she’s got a great head on her shoulders which contributed to becoming Mrs. Barack Obama.)

May I present to you, the ladies who will most likely become:

Mrs. Pookie Jenkens
Mrs. Joonbug Smith
Mrs. DaeDae Jackson

They are doing a dance that’s sweeping the south called the Stanky Leg.
Why would I want to dance with a chick with a stank leg?
Anyway, either enjoy a few moments of these ladies doing the stanky leg,
Or.. don’t and be happy that you might have used
those 2 minutes for something to better mankid.
Because after watching this you may want those two minutes of your life back!

Now that chick in the white was truly nice with her ASSets.
Damn you strippers across the world making dudes
fall in love; its all that booty poppin’ action.

I mean if I find a woman with a degree, nice corporate job
and could twerk that booty like that….
A Brother would be at home 9 days a week, married with 12 kids!
Me in a Club? Nah I’d be going home with a bottle Cognac.
(Although after 12 kids I’m not sure she’d still want to be on a twerk team, lol)

Don’t think I forgot about Thickcrust and the non-dancing folks.
If you’re White and can dance (yes, there are quite a few out there)
then this isn’t meant towards you.

To the others who can’t; then ya’ll need to stop this bullshyt right here:

If we come together as one I think we can help my White folks overcome this issue, and get some rhythm into them. Yes we can!

Hmmmm.
Who else can I get at?
Oh yeah..those Jesus folks!

A cross that has a secret stone that if you hold to the light says the Lord’s Prayer!!
Come the fugg on folks!

What the hell is this…Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

I wish I had a dollar for every time that Tomur, Thickcrust & I have been chillin
in Brooklyn sipping on some Cognac, and smoking that ‘green‘ when we all looked
at each other and wished we had a cross that we could shine a light through so
we could see the Lord’s Prayer shining up on the wall.

Damn it’s 10am… Time for me to go to work. Later.

Please remember ladies in my fan club…don’t come to the Palace unannounced because my Guard Squirrels DO NOT like Surprises!! This is just a warning.

Unless you can twerk that booty like the woman in the white,
then I’ll give you a single Season V.I.P. pass to visit BigDaddyLand.

Posted in PeopleHumor, Southern, Random | 2 Comments »

Monday, March 16, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

I decided to go to an open mic in Dallas and it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

I did see something there that was hilarious:
(a lady grabbed the mic and sung Jamie Foxx’s Unpredictable
what was really unpredictable was her crutches)

Lap Dance Gone Soooooo Wrong?

Is this Krystle J?
Seriously if you’re a really big girl maybe a small skinny dude ain’t for you?
Is this the kind of torture that we perform on Guantanamo Bay detainees?
Why does it look like this boy passed out or is no longer living?
He literally looks like all the life has been squeezed out of him!
O.M.G. Are you kidding me…Her Roll has a Roll!
Or her chest has slid down into her stomach.

What pervert came up with this Wolverine Punching Bag toy???

Oh My Damn!

only in Florida:

Police: Son pleasures himself, then punches mom

 Link to article

DADE CITY — It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard.

The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to the front of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said.

Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O’Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

Two Questions:

1. What did he use to ring the doorbell?
Cuz I’ll stop ringing people’s doorbell without gloves on.

2. Did he wash his hands before putting them in his moms face?
If not then that’s just nasty, punching your moms with a hand full of baby makin’ juice.

I wasn’t sure if this was a real story so I investigated & found his arrest record:
(click on image for full size view)

LIVE EXCLUSIVE VIDEO!!!

ThickCrust filmed having sex:

Now since I’m talking about Sex I need a question answered…
(No the question isn’t why was Adam making that high pitched squeak
while making love to that Nike Shoe)
What’s up with White women having sex with school kids?

So what level of insanity causes this shiznit…
Better yet is this little kid a pimp, they didn’t even know he was with both of them.

White Folks please stop having sex with school kids, there are plenty of No-Game havin’, sad ass Men out there that would gladly have sex with you no matter what you look like. And you know Brotha’s loves them some White women so there’s really no need for the whole 13yr old school kid thing Y’all been doing!

Next Michael Steel is going Urrrrrban and bringing hip-hop to the G.O.P.:

And Here’s John witherspoon commenting on the I Love NY reality show:

Posted in Southern, Random | 1 Comment »

Friday, February 13, 2009 by Mike Lowrey.

She’s originally from Brazil, damn I love that Country.

Woman from Texas has undergone nine breast enlargement
operations to become the proud owner of the
world’s largest breast implants — size 38KKK.

American doctors had refused to carry out any more operations
on Sheyla Hershey, 28, when her breasts were a staggering 34FFF,
but that didn’t stop her from going under the knife for the record breaking surgery.

“To me, big is beautiful. I don’t think I have anything to worry about,” the Houston-resident said.

Still determined to increase her bustline, Hershey jetted off to Brazil
where there are no limits on the size of implants. The surgery required a full gallon of silicone.

 Her British ex-boyfriend, who initially paid for her plastic surgery,
was dumped after he begged her to stop with the surgery.
“I loved him very much but I had to leave him to follow my dream,” she said.

WoW…!

Sooooo she lives in TX huh?
If I ever run into her I’m giving her some babies!!

Her boyfriend paid for what I will assume is about $40,000 in surgeries.
I may have to call her Anna Nicole Jr. She tricked on dude…no doubt about it.

I’d take that chick to court to repossess those tits I paid for.
I’d hire Dog the RACIST bounty hunter to get those twins back.

The next man won’t be enjoying the bags I paid for &
she won’t be making money off of them either!

But seriously we all know guys are sucka’s for ladies
blessed in the chest area.
It’s like kryptonite even to the great Mike Lowrey
I remember I dated a woman with G cups & the first time I saw them I
had this expression on my face

Posted in Southern, OMG | 2 Comments »

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 by Mike Lowrey.

Being that I’m seeing more of these types of issues this may become a weekly post topic.

Here I was at burger joint (Whataburger) and I see this:
300M with the door wide open.

Sorry BBerry Phone pic its a bit grainy.

Obviously the folks that were inside were too drunk to realize that no one closed the door.
When you’re tipsy I know you want to get your grub on (what do you think I was doing at the same joint at 2:30am) as soon as possible but that’s just ridiculous.If this was Harlem (or the South Bronx) it would have been a wrap for this dude’s ride.

By the way 2:30am in TX is the equivalent of 4:30am NYC time, clubs close at 2am here so we have to drink twice as fast to get buzzed by 2.

Posted in Southern, OMG | 2 Comments »